why I love wave 4

Since time immemorial, I have known and accepted the fact that I am a bad person. Bad in a way that I drive people away from me, stopping them before they even begin to know me in-depth; bad in a way that I am clearly perceived as mean, scheming, antagonistic, purely devilish person whom no one dares to mess with or even sit by in a bench. I have gotten used to sitting alone in a row of empty chairs just because I seem to scare people away. Bad in a way that I put up a concrete wall where I will be untouchable, invulnerable from pain and mockery. Absurdly, I found pleasure from that perception. It gave me dominance over the weak; it gave me authority to assert myself and made me in control of most situations.

Little did I know that I would come to know a bunch of guys who will see the almost-buried goodness that I have inside, some of which I did not even know existed. It made things easier for me to let go of my mask and reveal that part of me which I kept hidden all this time; for fear of being hurt, trampled on and intimidated. Now I realized it does feel good to get compliments sometimes, not just for a job well done but for being the best real person one could ever be. I do hope I was able to touch your lives the way you touched mine.

Viva WAVE 4!!

solid wave 4 batch 2011

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anger has left me

It truly is amazing how deep, nurtured angst can instantly disappear with just a desperately anticipated call from someone not even on your phone book. It has been a battle and continuous struggle for a couple of years where I almost convinced myself that I’m actually trapped. I longed for my independence. And I thought I’d finally be able to say all the bottled up thoughts when independence day comes. I thought I could finally speak up and release my rage. I was surprised to be wrong.

 

It’s a wonderful feeling to finally be free of all the hurt and hate. Life has become too heavy to live with all those emotional baggage that kept piling up. I have caused damage to my own self because of retaliations that are my only escape to keep afloat. For a time, I looked myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize the reflection staring back at me.

 

Now my plate’s clean and empty. My heart is filled with only gratitude and hope. Now I can live again. Now I am breathing. Now I am free.

memory of the past

After today, it was like deja vu. I realized I was on the same carousel that kept turning around. The faces weren’t exactly the same but they were familiar characters in a tragic fairy tale where I was the poor protagonist. I know that sounds redundant. But that is exactly where I am.

By tomorrow, I shall walk on the same aisle going to a different hell. I will drag my feet to that hole just like what I do each day. The things that comfort me then do not shield me anymore. My dwarfs are gone. My armor is wounded. It is hard to admit defeat. Defeat because I know all my moves will revert back to losing my king. I have few moves left now.

I would just like you to know – that the feeling is mutual.

Oh! Writer’s block

Every profession has its own predicament that requires dedication to overcome. Every passion has its own tight spot that needs inspiration to triumph over. Being a writer is both a profession and passion which makes it a little bit more exciting and interesting. The possibilities are endless, topics are boundless and writing styles are abundant. Even then, overcoming writer’s block is not uncommon. There are days when a writer stares at a blank page, fingers positioned on the keyboard ready to type, but there’s just no coherent thought. No need to worry, there are ways to get those words flowing.

 

  • Take a walk – staring at the same blank screen and racking your brains for a brilliant idea won’t work. Stand up and take a walk. Free your mind and just take a breath to relax your mind. This may be the last thing you want to do especially if you’re on a deadline but it is definitely the first thing you have to do to relax and get those neurons working.
  • Listen to music – music stirs emotion and if you let yourself be carried away by melody, it can bring you to a place or memory that can inspire you and provoke your inner thoughts. Strong emotions can always bring about an interesting idea that you can start with.
  • Change of venue – I know it is most of the time easier to collect your thoughts when it’s quiet and solemn but people, white noise, chattering and simply observing people can be a source of idea. Instead of the library, why not try the park, the playground or your garden.
  • Bullet brainstorming – think of 10 random, unrelated ideas on a piece of paper. Use these prompts as starting point. You do not have to write about the exact word you thought. If you wrote tremble then you can try branching out of that topic and describe it. So you might end up writing about guilty or forgiveness.
  • Free write – remember when you were just starting out, when writing is not a job but a mere hobby? Forget about the rules and the required number of words or the key words that you need to inject on your article. Write what comes up, start raw and go back to basics. You can make the edits and revisions later on.
  • Just start – get off Google and stop reading “how to overcome writers’ block” blogs. Just start writing. You can write as many paragraphs and they don’t have to be on the same idea. Remember that the goal is to get those ideas flowing.

 

So next time you find yourself staring at your screen too long, try the above suggestions and when you find the one that works, stick to it. Happy writing!

 

right words at the right time

Four months in the accountant role in a new company, Kate was ecstatic! She moved in to the city less than a year ago and has been so eager to land a real job after working too many odd jobs here and there. Kate was hired on a temporary position to take over someone’s post that’s going on maternity leave.

Carol, the manager called her into the office. Kate silently wondered what this urgent meeting could be about. Phil, her senior accountant was there and another senior accountant from another group. Kate’s hands went numb as she sat at the end of the long meeting table. The manager started talking but she was overwhelmed with all she’s hearing that she cannot completely comprehend what is being said. She picked out a few significant words, enough for her to understand. “.. you will be transferred to..”, “.. will handle 6 accounts and..”, “.. train the new person to replace you on..”.

That month end reporting, Kate ended up handling 6 accounts instead of the 1 account she was originally hired for plus training the new person to take over the one account while Carol expected her to accomplish everything at the speed of a 5-year tenured accountant. Kate wanted the job so much but all these are just more than Overwhelming

One morning, she found a note at her desk from her senior accountant and it made all the difference:

Hey Kate,

Don’t worry about Carol’s comments. Anyone with pride learns here one way or another within the first 6 months; to swallow their pride/ask for help to get things done now, ask more detailed question for understanding later. In my opinion, that conversation around expectations on doing multiple accounts now versus one before should have happened before month end.

You’re doing a great job!

Phil

GPTW – Great Place To Work

The last company I worked for before pressing the restart button on my life was a great place to work. I became a mentor, a leader, a speaker, a fulfilled professional and a writer. All these things that I’ve always wanted and thought to be impossible.

Below is an excerpt from a newsletter (profile) article I wrote about a successful project manager.

***

Every journey is coupled with challenges. At times, it may feel that these circumstances are meant to make things difficult but rather, these tests hone us to be tough. It takes us to a higher level of faith and value formation that only life’s experience can teach us. In the narration of one’s life, what has transpired, what has become of one’s decision and choices, how it affected the lives of others and how it eventually defines our very own personality cannot be completely depicted by mere words.
Life begins not as we were born
It gears and starts as we swim on our own
Our family is our inspiration and core
For them we aspire to keep ashore
Success is a future to be traveled not alone
And is best achieved with people we hone
Integrity and value we always have to uphold
For it shall be how we should lead and scold
Mommy Lita is our emblem and pillar
To whom we look up to like a stellar
Her leadership is felt and cannot be altered
One of the best I have yet discovered