Make time

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you it’s been a very busy week and I bet you had a busy one too.

**
I had a long weekend before this. One Monday was a local holiday and I took the Friday off before that. I feel that I need to spend more time at home with my Mom, who’s going back home pretty soon and with my son, who’s growing too fast for me to catch up.

Time can be really tricky as we know. We always have more things that we want to accomplish in such so little time.

**
One of my co-workers went on holidays so I had to cover for her at work. This is an unfamiliar task to me and although she showed me the things that I needed to do, it still wasn’t that easy.

I was counting down the days until she comes back and each day before turning on my computer, I cross my finger that there’s nothing for the day that I can’t handle.

I made sure that I was careful, about sending queries, communications or responses on her behalf. I didn’t want her to come back and find her work in chaos. I did all these while still doing my own tasks; Not easy but of course, not impossible.

We are faced with new challenges everyday and we always have a choice – take it and grow or leave it and be who we are yesterday – same and unimproved.

**
I found this new app and downloaded it on my mobile phone. It’s like any social media application but focuses on prose and poetry.

I instantly fell in love with it because it gave me a window to witness all those creativity overflowing out there around the world.

I remember back in high school I would scribble poems on my notes during class. It worked well for me because it appears I’m listening and taking notes and get to enjoy the boring classes. Ha!

-> Time can be, most of the time, against us. It goes so fast when we’re working on something important and when we needed more time. It goes by so slow when we’re early for a meeting and waiting for someone or something. But we have to remember that 24 hours is enough. It is all about knowing what’s important, planning and making time.

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TGIF – change

It’s been a wonderful week.. thank God it’s Friday!

I walked along a familiar aisle towards a desk at the south end of the second floor. It was a year ago since I was there last.

Part of me is excited to be back but a bigger part of me is a little lonely. I was happy a year ago before I went on maternity leave. I was part of a great team, fun trio, reliable colleagues and almost friends.

As I come closer to my desk, it hit me that my go-to guy has left and found a greener Pasteur; my turn-to gal has left to enjoy the coming of her newborn.

Change is here.

I sat on my desk and fired up my computer. It’s all starting to come back to me. I spent the day going through my thousand emails that are now completely irrelevant. I worked on getting all my access back and organizing my stuff.

I posted back the photo of me and my husband where I used to pin it. I have an addition this time. My son’s best photo yet.

Change is here.

A couple days later, my senior and I had a refresher meeting for the changes that have happened with the accounts that I used to do and how things are going to be done moving forward. After seeing all the spreadsheets and going over the folders in my computer, I felt home. I felt I’m back where I used to be.

The same afternoon of the refresher, I was called into a meeting with a few others from a different department. I knew something is up.

Management has decided to move me to a different department so now I’m going to do a different account that is totally different from what I’ve been doing for the last couple years.

Change is here.

It’s been a week now and things are still all new to me. It would’ve been nice to go back to what I’m used to do but I realized change is good. You just have to take it in, embrace it and give it a shot. It’s not that bad.

Change offers new learning, growth, excitement and it piques your brain after being static for being too familiar with something. I like where I am now. I do miss all the people I used to work with that are now gone and I’m still getting to know my new team. I can’t help but compare but in truth, it is what it is.

Change is here and it’s either we adapt to it or be stubborn and stuck. I choose to move forward.

photo credit:

http://www.funkyfaithgirl.com

 

Update Required!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you it’s been a busy week altogether and I bet you had a busy one too.

**

I recently got back to work and I’ve been dealing with coping up to so many changes. I was away for about a year and it was naive and a bit stupid for me to think that I’d be going back to the same things.

For the most part, yes, I still hold the same position and I’m still part of the same department. I still sit on the same boring, neatly arranged table and my old files for storage still sit under my desk.

A week after coming back, management decided to move me to a new team and gave me a new account that is totally different than what I’ve been doing which happened right after the refresher meeting I had with my old senior. Hah!

**

I got married in 2015 but a part of me didn’t want to let go of my family name. For one, I don’t particularly like my husband’s last name. I felt it didn’t fit me yet. That has nothing to do with love at all, purely aesthetic.

Now, I’ve decided to change my name to take my husband’s last name. Whew! This is it! It’s funny though because when I went to have my driver’s license updated, the agent asked me to sign electronically to complete my application and it hit me! I haven’t really thought about that yet.

Overall, I’ve got the important ones done but I still got a long list – banks, phone company, membership organizations, insurances, etc.

-> Change is the only thing constant in the world and we need to take it, embrace it and live with it. I remind myself that I need to look at the good sides of change for growth to be more effective and fruitful. We love the old but it’s time for the new!

why I love wave 4

Since time immemorial, I have known and accepted the fact that I am a bad person. Bad in a way that I drive people away from me, stopping them before they even begin to know me in-depth; bad in a way that I am clearly perceived as mean, scheming, antagonistic, purely devilish person whom no one dares to mess with or even sit by in a bench. I have gotten used to sitting alone in a row of empty chairs just because I seem to scare people away. Bad in a way that I put up a concrete wall where I will be untouchable, invulnerable from pain and mockery. Absurdly, I found pleasure from that perception. It gave me dominance over the weak; it gave me authority to assert myself and made me in control of most situations.

Little did I know that I would come to know a bunch of guys who will see the almost-buried goodness that I have inside, some of which I did not even know existed. It made things easier for me to let go of my mask and reveal that part of me which I kept hidden all this time; for fear of being hurt, trampled on and intimidated. Now I realized it does feel good to get compliments sometimes, not just for a job well done but for being the best real person one could ever be. I do hope I was able to touch your lives the way you touched mine.

Viva WAVE 4!!

solid wave 4 batch 2011

anger has left me

It truly is amazing how deep, nurtured angst can instantly disappear with just a desperately anticipated call from someone not even on your phone book. It has been a battle and continuous struggle for a couple of years where I almost convinced myself that I’m actually trapped. I longed for my independence. And I thought I’d finally be able to say all the bottled up thoughts when independence day comes. I thought I could finally speak up and release my rage. I was surprised to be wrong.

 

It’s a wonderful feeling to finally be free of all the hurt and hate. Life has become too heavy to live with all those emotional baggage that kept piling up. I have caused damage to my own self because of retaliations that are my only escape to keep afloat. For a time, I looked myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize the reflection staring back at me.

 

Now my plate’s clean and empty. My heart is filled with only gratitude and hope. Now I can live again. Now I am breathing. Now I am free.

memory of the past

After today, it was like deja vu. I realized I was on the same carousel that kept turning around. The faces weren’t exactly the same but they were familiar characters in a tragic fairy tale where I was the poor protagonist. I know that sounds redundant. But that is exactly where I am.

By tomorrow, I shall walk on the same aisle going to a different hell. I will drag my feet to that hole just like what I do each day. The things that comfort me then do not shield me anymore. My dwarfs are gone. My armor is wounded. It is hard to admit defeat. Defeat because I know all my moves will revert back to losing my king. I have few moves left now.

I would just like you to know – that the feeling is mutual.

Oh! Writer’s block

Every profession has its own predicament that requires dedication to overcome. Every passion has its own tight spot that needs inspiration to triumph over. Being a writer is both a profession and passion which makes it a little bit more exciting and interesting. The possibilities are endless, topics are boundless and writing styles are abundant. Even then, overcoming writer’s block is not uncommon. There are days when a writer stares at a blank page, fingers positioned on the keyboard ready to type, but there’s just no coherent thought. No need to worry, there are ways to get those words flowing.

 

  • Take a walk – staring at the same blank screen and racking your brains for a brilliant idea won’t work. Stand up and take a walk. Free your mind and just take a breath to relax your mind. This may be the last thing you want to do especially if you’re on a deadline but it is definitely the first thing you have to do to relax and get those neurons working.
  • Listen to music – music stirs emotion and if you let yourself be carried away by melody, it can bring you to a place or memory that can inspire you and provoke your inner thoughts. Strong emotions can always bring about an interesting idea that you can start with.
  • Change of venue – I know it is most of the time easier to collect your thoughts when it’s quiet and solemn but people, white noise, chattering and simply observing people can be a source of idea. Instead of the library, why not try the park, the playground or your garden.
  • Bullet brainstorming – think of 10 random, unrelated ideas on a piece of paper. Use these prompts as starting point. You do not have to write about the exact word you thought. If you wrote tremble then you can try branching out of that topic and describe it. So you might end up writing about guilty or forgiveness.
  • Free write – remember when you were just starting out, when writing is not a job but a mere hobby? Forget about the rules and the required number of words or the key words that you need to inject on your article. Write what comes up, start raw and go back to basics. You can make the edits and revisions later on.
  • Just start – get off Google and stop reading “how to overcome writers’ block” blogs. Just start writing. You can write as many paragraphs and they don’t have to be on the same idea. Remember that the goal is to get those ideas flowing.

 

So next time you find yourself staring at your screen too long, try the above suggestions and when you find the one that works, stick to it. Happy writing!