should I stay or should I go?

We spend almost all our childhood life in learning institutions. I am talking about regular, mid-type families who can afford formal education. The rest of your years would be another chapter of learning, in a different format, unconfined to any establishment, with a mentor no less than yourself. I used to dream of becoming a mentor. I guess, every child at one point in time thought of it. And for the record, yeah, I thought of becoming a doctor as well. The hard part of education is on the latter chapter. In that case, I can safely say that we spend our entire journey on earth – learning.

Part of education is knowing your options and being certain as you can on the choices you make. And I tell you, every decision that you come across, no matter how little or huge, could change you a lot if not today, definitely in the future. It seemed to me that I am at this point where my decision could mark my career permanently. At times I’d like to think of it as a simple choice between cream based caramel frappuchino and blended coffee caramel frappuchino. They are almost alike I know. But the slight difference is the catch.

If you consider every aspect, every angle, every consequence, ever pros and cons – does that make it the best choice? Or does fulfillment and peace of mind does it? Tough call, believe me. I could rant all I want about it and discuss it to all of my friends for advice. I could post a poll on the internet or flip a coin or something. With that I definitely could pick one. And this dilemma would be all over. Done. But I just can’t. So should I stay or should I go?

Time will be my savior. Time that never stops for anyone. Time that just goes on no matter what. Time that never goes back. Time who seem not to care. Ironically, time will tell me. Not what to do, what to choose, what to decide. Time will tell me that it is time to stop thinking. And then, my decision would be final. When that moment comes, it will be crucial. The decisions wouldn’t be so strong anymore. It probably would not be well thought of either. But one thing is certain, it will be final.

 

photo credit:
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bad news, good news

I love singing on videoke. It’s probably one of those things that I miss about home. In fact it’s that one thing that’s always on my to-do list whenever I go home for vacation. See, I love singing but singing can’t particularly say the same with me.

I found that for people who are not particularly good in singing, it’s important to know what songs you are able to sing and be able to sound authentically talented. I tried quite a lot of songs – those that I like to sing and luckily, some of them sound fine when I sing it. One of these songs is Turn Back Time by Aqua.

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“If only I can turn back time
If only I had said what I still hide
If only I can turn back time
I would stay for the night”

For a moment there, I may have misled you to think that this is about my singing prowess but I actually wanted to talk about time. Have you told yourself, if only you can turn back time? Or maybe I should ask how many times you have told that to yourself.

I have bad news and good news about time. I’d like to share that on today’s two things Tuesday.

1> Bad news: time is never on our side
One of things we have no Control over is time. No one can make it stop or turn it neither faster nor slow. There is no rewind and no replay. Once you forgo a chance at a time, it will be gone; it is gone. We will not be as strong or young as we are now.

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You know how it feels like forever when you’re waiting for your friend at the mall when you both agreed to meet after work at 5 pm? You check your watch every minute and though it’s only been 5 minutes since you got there at your meeting place, it feels really annoying that your friend is late – again.

How about when you’re writing an exam when the proctor speaks to inform all of you in the exam room that you need to wrap it up because you have 5 minutes remaining to finish the test? That 5 minutes would totally feel like 5 seconds for sure.

Time is never on our side and though that sounds a little bit on the negative, it is as optimist as it could ever sound as well. I guess all we can really do is to make use of time wisely because time is something we cannot afford to waste.

2> Good news: time is always enough
Have you ever felt like there’s always just not enough time? You wake up late, you’re stuck in traffic, you waited in line at the grocery too long and the day is almost over but there’s so much that needs to be done.

It is kind of hard to believe that time is always enough but it really is. The reason why it does not seem so is because we are more often than not unrealistic to our goals and when we should’ve accomplished them. The reason why time feels like it’s never enough because we need to be better at time management.

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So the next time you are tempted to say, “I don’t have time”, think about the 24 long hours that you are given each day. That is enough time to spend with family, friends, work, solitude and rest.

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going back

If we were having coffee I’d tell you that this week forward is all about going back.

 

It’s been almost three months since I had my tiny human whom I love so dear. Maternity leave isn’t the best kind of holiday leave that one would instantly enjoy. I’m enjoying my baby angel of course but all the sleepless nights and figuring-out-baby-cries isn’t exactly super fun. Now I figured it’s been too long to have all my days seem the same – wake up, shower, hang out with my tiny human, sleep and then repeat.

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Going back.. to reading

In fear of boring myself to death before I went on maternity leave (which is kind of stupid to think I’d be bored at all), I bought the series of Game of Thrones book. I love the TV series and I’m pretty sure it’s way better in the books. I haven’t gone far on the first book. It’s a good read but there’s barely chance for me to read. I do make time at night while holding my little angel to sleep. That’s enough for now – a chapter a night.

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Going back.. to exercise

I had to wait till I’m completely healed from the pregnancy and giving birth before I start on any exercise. I started on some simple crunch exercises to tone down the baby pooch and some leg exercises for the thighs. It’s frustrating that most of my jeans and shirts seemed like they belong to someone else when I tried them on. I knew this would’ve happened. It’s annoying but it’s not too late. So I’m going back to the gym in a couple more weeks. We’ll see if the work outs would work out.

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Going back.. to school

I went back to school in 2014, a year after I moved in this foreign land that I now call home. I’ve been through a lot of modules and courses. It was not easy going back to school especially because I’m already done with school a long time ago and I’ve been working for so long I don’t remember how to do home works no more. Well, finally if I keep on passing, I’d be done in the fall.

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Going back.. to Toastmasters

I took a break from my public speaking club since I got pregnant. There were too many things going on at that time with work, school, my husband and the weather. I’m pretty excited to go back and write speeches again. I am looking forward to meeting the new members of the club and participating in so many activities.

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Going back.. home

I’ve waited so long for this year. This is the year that I get to go back to my home country and celebrate the holidays with my family. I’ve already started my list of things that I need to buy for my aunties, cousins, friends and god children. It’s been too long since I’ve spent Christmas at home so this year’s going to be a blast for sure.

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I’ve seen the migratory birds flying back to Wascana Park in the morning. That was the mark. This is the beginning. This year is sure to go through fast with all these things that I’m going back to.

 

 

 

 

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the past is back

I tried my best to choose what is right
And set aside my feelings as hard as I might
All along I believed it to be fine
Only to find that I don’t hold what is mine

I thought about it a hundred times
I closed my eyes and feel the rhymes
Each line on the poem left me a mark
Remembering the flaw that was so stark

Mistake, error, slip or blunder
It hit me hard just like thunder
What am I to do to escape the misery?
The terror of hate and agony

(Oversight)