TGIF – change

It’s been a wonderful week.. thank God it’s Friday!

I walked along a familiar aisle towards a desk at the south end of the second floor. It was a year ago since I was there last.

Part of me is excited to be back but a bigger part of me is a little lonely. I was happy a year ago before I went on maternity leave. I was part of a great team, fun trio, reliable colleagues and almost friends.

As I come closer to my desk, it hit me that my go-to guy has left and found a greener Pasteur; my turn-to gal has left to enjoy the coming of her newborn.

Change is here.

I sat on my desk and fired up my computer. It’s all starting to come back to me. I spent the day going through my thousand emails that are now completely irrelevant. I worked on getting all my access back and organizing my stuff.

I posted back the photo of me and my husband where I used to pin it. I have an addition this time. My son’s best photo yet.

Change is here.

A couple days later, my senior and I had a refresher meeting for the changes that have happened with the accounts that I used to do and how things are going to be done moving forward. After seeing all the spreadsheets and going over the folders in my computer, I felt home. I felt I’m back where I used to be.

The same afternoon of the refresher, I was called into a meeting with a few others from a different department. I knew something is up.

Management has decided to move me to a different department so now I’m going to do a different account that is totally different from what I’ve been doing for the last couple years.

Change is here.

It’s been a week now and things are still all new to me. It would’ve been nice to go back to what I’m used to do but I realized change is good. You just have to take it in, embrace it and give it a shot. It’s not that bad.

Change offers new learning, growth, excitement and it piques your brain after being static for being too familiar with something. I like where I am now. I do miss all the people I used to work with that are now gone and I’m still getting to know my new team. I can’t help but compare but in truth, it is what it is.

Change is here and it’s either we adapt to it or be stubborn and stuck. I choose to move forward.

photo credit:

http://www.funkyfaithgirl.com

 

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How to achieve your goals and wants

We want all sorts of things in life – successful career, happy family, fit body to name a few. We also have so much goals – friendship goals, relationship goals, health goals and so much more. There are lots of information online that we can access that will provide us with specific tips on very specific goals and wants that we want to pursue but realistically there are only 2.

How do you achieve your life’s goals and wants? I’d like to share that on today’s two things Tuesday.

1> Want it

When I was pregnant with my boy, one time I bought a huge bag of hash browns because I saw it on TV and I told myself I want that. The next day, I ended up giving it away coz I don’t want it anymore.

Even after pregnancy, I have a tendency to want something today and realized I don’t really have any desire for it.

One of the many reasons for not achieving your life’s goals and wants is – not wanting something hard enough. We are easily thrown by little struggles and issues along the way. It is vital that we are certain and determined when we want to achieve something.

I wanted to be a CPA and so even if I failed some subjects and got kicked out of school, had to start over, had to stomach staring eyes, had to live with guilt for failing my parents, had to take the licensure exam twice. I made it! Because I want it.

In fact I want it so much, I took another CPA license when I moved in Canada. Now I am proud to be a CPA not once but twice.

2>Do it

Wanting to learn how to bike but not practicing at all is tantamount to nothing. Achieving your goals does not end in wanting it. The hard part towards that goal is actually working on it.

It may be difficult to know where to start of how to begin the journey but if you are determined, nothing is going to stop you; not distance, time, age or money. You just have to take the first step and then everything else will follow.

I wanted a better life for me, my family and my own family-to-be and I’ve decided that I need to move to a different country to achieve that. It is a hard decision as it requires leaving my loved ones, my friends, going out of my comfort zone and starting over from scratch.

I stalled the application for some time because I thought I needed more time to be emotionally prepared. Also, there’s always something great that’s happening to me that makes me think it might not be the best decision.

Until one day, I’ve decided to just jump on the wagon and do it! That was about 4 years ago and soon I will be eligible for citizenship. Goal achieved!

 

It will take courage, emotional preparedness and will to achieve anything. With the combination of wanting it then doing it plus all the help you can get from friends, family and online – failure will soon be a thing of the past.

 

photo credit:

https://runthisapple.com/

http://www.study-habits.com

First time mom

This is a piece of me..

I received the greatest gift so far. My son.

**

I did not want to have kids as I was growing up. I wanted to have kids of my own but the thought of carrying them in my womb for 9 long months and having to physically bring them out into the world scares me the most.

When I said scared, I am not talking about the dangers and complexities of being pregnant. And you would think I am selfish and vain but I was more concerned about how to get rid of the belly that might not go away. Ever. At all.

During my third trimester is when my tummy started to grow significantly big and after gaining 15 kg, at that point, I told myself, I’m never going to get back on all my old clothes. And so I packed all of them and placed them in a box for donation as tears started to roll from my eyes.

Was that me being pregnant and hormonal? Or was that me being my vain, selfish self? I wouldn’t know for sure.

I am a planner. It pains me not to know what’s going to happen in the next 24 hours more so how it’s going to unfold. So I tried every possible way to mitigate this concern and booked pre-natal classes and hospital tours, watched videos and read anything baby related I can search Google for.

With all these so called preparations, I realized lots of people tell you a lot of things that you can expect about pregnancy and child birth but there’s also a fair amount of information they neglect to tell you. Ergo, there’s only so much you can do to prepare and things will happen as they should and you should not worry too much; easier said than done for sure.

I was in pain for a good couple months and though I loved my son the moment I had some spotting during my first trimester and realized I could lose him, I was frustrated with how sleep deprived I was and how so little time I have left for myself.

I love my son and I would go through everything over again for him. To all mom to be/s or new moms who is overwhelmed by all the changes in their lives, it is important to stand back, look at your precious little ones and appreciate their beauty.

More importantly, know that things will get back to normal soon enough. It may not be exactly how it used to be – your body, your lifestyle and sleep times but it will have some normalcy at some point.

The journey into becoming a mother is a lifetime trek – unpredictable, swift, rewarding and can be frustrating. It is a role that will last until your last day on earth. It does not begin when you give birth and it does not end when your child turns 18; not even 40.

You will be a mom for the remaining of your lifetime but your little ones will not be babies for the remaining of your lifetime. So enjoy them while they are tiny and fragile because they will not be that small again.

how to prepare for an exam

I recently wrote a major common final examination. I’ve been preparing for this since I decided to start the course. It is déjà vu. I’ve gone through a similar thing more than a decade ago but I had to go through a similar one after moving to this foreign land I now call home. Both times I found trust to be vital.

 

How do you prepare for an exam? I’d like to share that on today’s two things Tuesday.

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1> Do your best

I remember telling my dad one time when he asked me how my school project was doing, I told him “I try my best”. He told me I’m doing it wrong. My dad said that in everything I do, I shouldn’t just be trying. I should DO my best. I was confused then being an 8 year old but now I understand.

 

We had 8 weeks to prepare for the exam and it seemed short. I had so much topic that I wanted to go back to and caring for a new born is not entirely the perfect timing to be studying for a major exam. But all these things aren’t really obstacles. These are things we often take to make excuses for not focusing on studying, for not keeping with the study plan, for getting unsatisfactory result on practices cases.

 

I realized I can’t focus on the negatives. I can’t focus on what is stopping me to succeed in this. I need to instead concentrate on the things that I can control and can do something about. It is hard but if you put your mind to it, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish. You need to trust yourself that you can do it. Just do your best.

 

It was especially hard to be getting unsatisfactory results on practices cases throughout the preparation module but the important thing is that I know I am doing my best and that I keep trying to improve as I go; because honestly, that’s all I can do.

 

2> God will do the rest

God has been with me throughout my journey and in everything I do, I know there’s only so much that I can do. And that the rest is still up to him. It all boils down to his greater plan. It might not exactly be my plan, but I know for sure that it is what is best.

 

You’ve got to trust the Lord that he will pick up where you left off. He will fill what you’re lacking. He will patch what you are weakest about. You need to trust him that he will be there with you; all the way. And I did. I do.

 

People of different faith may say this is the part where luck plays a role. Whatever it is, you have to trust that the universe, the creator or luck perhaps, has a role in all this. And trust that things will eventually fall into place.

 

 

The preparation is tough but the waiting time is even worse. I don’t know yet how the exam would turn out. But knowing that I did my best and that God’s will will be done gives me comfort that whatever the result will be, I will not have regrets. I will not have what ifs. I will not have anyone to blame yet I have so much to be thankful for. In fact in any endeavour, hard work, trusting yourself and God and making sure that failure won’t bring you down is what it’s all about.

 

 

photo credit:

https://runthisapple.com/

http://www.study-habits.com

growing old

The dotted lines in a coloring book
As a child you Trace and look
Careful not to break the chain
Eager for achievement to obtain

Lost in the bustling huge city
Ignorant to the world’s cruelty
You start to question how and why
You Trace your way as you start to cry

The lines on your face are evident
Trace of joy, fear and lonesome event
The mirror shall be the true picture
Of a meaningful past but not the future

contemplation

It’s amazing how music can drift you off to someplace where you can be alone with your thoughts amidst the blaring crowd that surrounds you.The loud music that fills your brain can actually create clarity within your crowded and corrupted mind. Quiet songs tend to bring your brain’s voice louder and more clear for your own ears to comprehend.

 

It’s strange how a silent person, sitting on a bus could be having a deadly battle inside his head about colliding ideas, all racing to win a debate. During the silent pauses of each changing melody, one is brought back to where he truly was. And on every song that ended, he noted a story that has ended.

 

It is an endless search for reason, for blame, for responsibility, for a resolution. It leaves a restless heart when none of these are found. But it is neither a guarantee of peace even if all of these things are unmasked and defined. Then what are all these for after all?

 

It is then decided – nothing is certain except for beginnings and endings. And it is an endless circle of collaborated events and things that keeps us moving, the world revolving and more changes. For all these then, there is no use to say goodbye – for everything is and will be temporary.

truth of life

Life has too many mysteries and though people over time have discovered and believed to have uncovered some of them, life itself remained a mystery.

Over time, people – scientists and professionals worked to explain and expose various truths about how life is created inside a woman’s womb, cure to deadly illness, preserve life, cheat death and behaviors to prosper.

In all these, two things remained constant. I’d like to share that on today’s two things Tuesday.

1> One
Felines are said to have nine lives. How awesome that would be if it were true with humans. So then we can have a clean slate after each life. That way we will have multiple tries to make our life worth it.

But we don’t have to have nine lives to make the most out of this great gift. After all, we are given 70 some years give or take to improve our lives, get a career, be happy, procreate, influence others to do well and live to the fullest. That should be enough. One lifetime should be enough.

2> Temporary
We all know what we have is borrowed time. In the end, we are to return this gift to the creator. The time we have been given is a chance to experience what life has to offer so that we may triumph over pain, overcome frustrations, succeed the failures and achieve happiness and contentment.

My husband lost his mom late last year and recently, his aunt who was more than a mother to him. His aunt cared for him since he was two and taught him everything he knew about life. It is devastating when it’s time to give life back but it is only sad if you have not lived it how you should have.

These truths are nothing unknown to us. But often times we choose to ignore these facts. It’s time to stop wasting it. It’s time to start living it. Let all the sorrows be gone, let all wounds heal, let all dreams come true. So at the finish line, we will be all smiles – no regrets, no unfinished business, no ifs and no looking back.

 

 

photo credit: https://runthisapple.com/