should I stay or should I go?

We spend almost all our childhood life in learning institutions. I am talking about regular, mid-type families who can afford formal education. The rest of your years would be another chapter of learning, in a different format, unconfined to any establishment, with a mentor no less than yourself. I used to dream of becoming a mentor. I guess, every child at one point in time thought of it. And for the record, yeah, I thought of becoming a doctor as well. The hard part of education is on the latter chapter. In that case, I can safely say that we spend our entire journey on earth – learning.

Part of education is knowing your options and being certain as you can on the choices you make. And I tell you, every decision that you come across, no matter how little or huge, could change you a lot if not today, definitely in the future. It seemed to me that I am at this point where my decision could mark my career permanently. At times I’d like to think of it as a simple choice between cream based caramel frappuchino and blended coffee caramel frappuchino. They are almost alike I know. But the slight difference is the catch.

If you consider every aspect, every angle, every consequence, ever pros and cons – does that make it the best choice? Or does fulfillment and peace of mind does it? Tough call, believe me. I could rant all I want about it and discuss it to all of my friends for advice. I could post a poll on the internet or flip a coin or something. With that I definitely could pick one. And this dilemma would be all over. Done. But I just can’t. So should I stay or should I go?

Time will be my savior. Time that never stops for anyone. Time that just goes on no matter what. Time that never goes back. Time who seem not to care. Ironically, time will tell me. Not what to do, what to choose, what to decide. Time will tell me that it is time to stop thinking. And then, my decision would be final. When that moment comes, it will be crucial. The decisions wouldn’t be so strong anymore. It probably would not be well thought of either. But one thing is certain, it will be final.


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growing old

The dotted lines in a coloring book
As a child you Trace and look
Careful not to break the chain
Eager for achievement to obtain

Lost in the bustling huge city
Ignorant to the world’s cruelty
You start to question how and why
You Trace your way as you start to cry

The lines on your face are evident
Trace of joy, fear and lonesome event
The mirror shall be the true picture
Of a meaningful past but not the future

how to deal

I cast my fear aside

I wish for a slower tide

Hoping I can handle the stride

Refusing to drown and collide


Life has thrown me lemons

Haunted by all my demons

I intended to build a fearsome beacon

For in time I will soar like falcon


Desperation lead to more frustration

Feels so alone amidst the commotion

Doomed in the precipice of confusion

Counting the days for absolution


It does get Better if not worse

I just had to stay atop my horse

Face this trouble with might and force

And keep the hope burning of course

TGIF – beautiful scars

It’s been a wonderful week.. thank God it’s Friday!


I am thankful for all my scars and that might have sounded weird for some. In life, I learned that we need to see the good side of all the bad stuff, ergo scars are beautiful.


I have scabies when I was a kid and I carried those scars until now. Some of them have faded completely but some were too deep it created a deep crater in my skin. This physical scar is kind of hard to shake.


I was laughed at and bullied in school because I was different. I have fresh wounds on my legs and so I hated PE days when we need to wear shorts. I was humiliated and shamed for the longest time. These scars will always remind me of being weak.


I learned to be tough so I can ignore my classmates as they whisper behind my back. I had to be strong and choose to come to school every day even if was hell for me. These scars will also remind me of how I became resilient and strong.


I have gone through all sorts of pain – losing a competition, failing an exam, getting kicked out of school, disappointing my parents, fighting with my sibling, getting my heartbroken, etc. This emotional scar is as much harder to shake.


In my life’s ups and down I’ve accumulated a variety of scars that brings about sadness and frustrations but it also made me a better person. I have become a person who is ready to take on more challenge and eager to triumph more of life’s obstacles.


Physical or emotional scars, I’d like to appreciate them and you should too. It is a reminder that life ain’t easy but it does get better. It is proof that we can be fragile then strong the next. So bring it on!








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bad news, good news

I love singing on videoke. It’s probably one of those things that I miss about home. In fact it’s that one thing that’s always on my to-do list whenever I go home for vacation. See, I love singing but singing can’t particularly say the same with me.

I found that for people who are not particularly good in singing, it’s important to know what songs you are able to sing and be able to sound authentically talented. I tried quite a lot of songs – those that I like to sing and luckily, some of them sound fine when I sing it. One of these songs is Turn Back Time by Aqua.


“If only I can turn back time
If only I had said what I still hide
If only I can turn back time
I would stay for the night”

For a moment there, I may have misled you to think that this is about my singing prowess but I actually wanted to talk about time. Have you told yourself, if only you can turn back time? Or maybe I should ask how many times you have told that to yourself.

I have bad news and good news about time. I’d like to share that on today’s two things Tuesday.

1> Bad news: time is never on our side
One of things we have no Control over is time. No one can make it stop or turn it neither faster nor slow. There is no rewind and no replay. Once you forgo a chance at a time, it will be gone; it is gone. We will not be as strong or young as we are now.


You know how it feels like forever when you’re waiting for your friend at the mall when you both agreed to meet after work at 5 pm? You check your watch every minute and though it’s only been 5 minutes since you got there at your meeting place, it feels really annoying that your friend is late – again.

How about when you’re writing an exam when the proctor speaks to inform all of you in the exam room that you need to wrap it up because you have 5 minutes remaining to finish the test? That 5 minutes would totally feel like 5 seconds for sure.

Time is never on our side and though that sounds a little bit on the negative, it is as optimist as it could ever sound as well. I guess all we can really do is to make use of time wisely because time is something we cannot afford to waste.

2> Good news: time is always enough
Have you ever felt like there’s always just not enough time? You wake up late, you’re stuck in traffic, you waited in line at the grocery too long and the day is almost over but there’s so much that needs to be done.

It is kind of hard to believe that time is always enough but it really is. The reason why it does not seem so is because we are more often than not unrealistic to our goals and when we should’ve accomplished them. The reason why time feels like it’s never enough because we need to be better at time management.


So the next time you are tempted to say, “I don’t have time”, think about the 24 long hours that you are given each day. That is enough time to spend with family, friends, work, solitude and rest.

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TGIF – promise of today and tomorrow

It’s been a great week.. thank God it’s Friday!


We wish for so many things; endless wants and incessant desires. Our mind is clouded by all the material things and earthly cravings that we even forget to be thankful for the ones we’ve accomplished. We are way too busy checking off our bucket list that we fail to remember to cherish and celebrate the wins which we worked hard for.


More importantly, we disregard the simplest things yet most vital gift that we receive every day. We overlook being thankful for each day that comes when we are given the opportunity to actually work on our aspirations and make them real.


This has nothing to do with faith or religion at all but I believe it is but proper to take a moment each day to appreciate that we wake up each morning. Let us be reminded that each day that we get to have coffee and appreciate the rising sun is a chance to be more and accomplish more.


As the sun comes down at the end of the day signals that an opportunity has ended as much as it signifies that a new beginning will start. We may not have accomplished the many things we wanted in a day but the night is a promise that there will be a tomorrow.


Again this has nothing to do with faith or religion but I know it is but proper to take a moment at the end of each day to appreciate that there is hope as we bid good bye to a day that has ended. Let us be reminded that as we stare at the stars when we close our bedroom windows and turn off the lamp by our bedside, we may have a new beginning tomorrow to be more and achieve more.







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We all want something

We all want something. When I was a kid I wanted to have more toys. When I started going to school, I wanted to grow faster and finish my studies because I bet you too would agree that school is not too fun with all the home works and projects and all that research not to mention exams and quizzes. When I finally started working, I wanted more things – a car, a house of my own and the list goes on forever. Now that I have a family of my own, I want a lot of things for my kid – a good life to begin with. In all of the things that we want in life may it be material, a better future, success or fulfilment; you have to have at least two things to achieve them. I’d like to share that on today’s two things Tuesday.


1> Will

It is never enough just to want something. Why? Because it’s given – people are insatiable. It is easy to want. You don’t even have to think about what to want. You just do. That want has to be so strong to drive you into making that want a reality. You have to turn that want into inspiration. You have to turn that want into a purpose so that the end goal is to work on it and have it. Take advantage of that want and use it to fuel your inner strength and be determined to get it and check it off your long list of wants.


When I moved to this foreign country to start a new life, I got into a few odd jobs and it was not easy. I graduated in my home country and was able to work in the field that I wanted for as long as I can remember. I couldn’t accept the fact that I’d be waiting tables in a grill or ringing customers in a grocery for the remainder of my career that I worked hard for. Despite not wanting to go back to school, I had to. I’m still working on it but if I keep on passing, I’d finally be done before the year ends. It is not easy but I know it’s worth it.


2> Means

Nurturing that want to become strong and inspire you is not the end of your journey to achieve your want. It is equally important to find the means or create the means to realize it. If you want a new car, you have to have money to buy it. If you want to finish school you have to stop skipping your classes. If you want to lose weight you have to take some time to exercise or watch your diet. Whatever means you think is necessary is as important as turning that want into an inspiration.


I knew I had to go back to studying and finish a few more courses to get back to my field of study. And to do that, I can’t stay on odd jobs. I need a better paying job so I can support my school. I didn’t give up looking for a better job even if it took me months. I was frustrated a dozen times but I cannot give up. I have the will to keep me going.


Acceptance is vital. Accept the fact that getting what we want is not as easy as picking up a fallen strawberry. We don’t always get what we want but we get what we deserve. So work hard and deserve what you want. It’s all in your hands.






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