A question to an answer

What’s on your mind? Facebook asks me that every single time! How are you? How’s it going? These are questions that aim to start a conversation. Why are you here? How did you do that? These questions are geared towards hearing more explanation and understanding. Are you going? Do you like that? These questions require a specific and direct response. We ask questions because we want to know; we want to understand. We ask questions because we want answers and every answer is important. From answers, we draw conclusions, we decide based on it. But sometimes questions are more important than answers.

 

All my life I have tried to challenge the statement, there are no stupid questions. It was only in January of this year that I finally succeeded! In January, I went back to the Philippines to get married. And to make the most out of my very short stay, I have arranged for a private pool resort out of town to get together with my friends and have a little party. So I asked my cousin who owns the resort how to get there. She sent me a text message of the directions. She mentioned what exit to take on the highway, turn left after the exit and gave me 711 and a water district as the landmarks then we can turn right and the resort would be to our left. So we drove early in the morning to a 3 hour drive to the resort. After the highway exit, we turned left. Following my cousin’s direction we should pass by a 711 store and turn right after the water district. We’ve been on the road for 20 minutes and no sign of the landmarks we’re looking for and by the looks of it, we are obviously lost. I don’t have my cousin’s mobile number so I tried her on facebook but she’s not responding. My friend tried to Google map the address and all it showed was a green dot, which is where we were and a massive white all around it. Clearly there are not a lot of people who use maps in the Philippines. I’m not sure if that’s why the maps are not updated or the other way around. For the first time, the map offered no answer at all so we figured we can ask around. My other friend volunteered and got off the car and asked a man standing by the street while we pulled over to the side and wait quietly in the car. When he came back, he said the man told him we missed a turn. So we turned around and took a turn, soon enough we passed by the 711 store so we all thought we’re finally on the right track. But then 15minutes of driving and yet no water district on sight, not even a street where we could turn right. So my friend decided we need to ask again so we pulled over and he got off the car. When he came back he said we’re on the right path it’s just going to be a few kilometers more. So we were relieved and went on. 5 kilometers after, it looked like the road is winding down and soon enough there we were headed to a dead end. We’ve been going around the town for 45 minutes and I it’s starting to upset me. So I asked my friend, “what did the first and the second guy told you?” My friend said, “well I asked where the 711 store is that’s close to the water district and he said we missed a turn so I told you we need to turn around. And then I asked the second guy where the water district is and he said it’s at the end of this road closer to the river.” Dead silent inside the car but my brain shouted wow! We are heading to the right direction after all – that is if we want to go to the water district! I decided to just call my aunt’s home, because that’s the only landline number I can recall after being gone for a year, so I can get my other aunt’s office number to get their home phone number to try to get my cousin’s mobile number so I can call her. Half an hour later, I was able to reach my cousin and we finally got to the resort exhausted.

 

Asking the right questions take as much skill as giving the right answer. As odd as it sounds, we need to first identify what answers we want so we know what kind of questions to ask. Formulating questions is like using a computer – garbage in, garbage out. Whatever quality of data you put in is the same quality of data you can expect to get. Even Google search is all about formulating a good question. If you formulate a bad keyword to search – vague and unclear, it’s not going to give you a useful answer.

 

To conclude my speech I wanted to leave you with a quote and so I googled it and found an African proverb that says “the one who asks questions doesn’t lose his way”. Uhm, not really. I clicked the next button and found this:

 

“There are no right answers to wrong questions” – by Ursula Le Guin.

 

**

I wrote this speech for the 6th speech project on the Competent Communication manual Vocal Variety. The objectives of this speech are:

  • Use voice volume, pitch, rate, and quality to reflect and add meaning and interest to your message
  • Use pauses to enhance your message
  • Use vocal variety smoothly and naturally
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stroll

I came by an enormous tree
I pictured myself climbing
I started to count one to three
I doubted and went back to walking

I saw a child playing at the park
He tripped and stumbled upon a rock
I moved to help then stopped at a mark
There, unmoving, as though I was stuck

I went passed the school where I wanted to go
Thought of how I gave up the endeavor
I was indecisive not knowing what to do
Till this moment I have not filled that fervor

*for the daily post:
Tentative
photo credit:
https://priviews.wordpress.com

how to prepare for an exam

I recently wrote a major common final examination. I’ve been preparing for this since I decided to start the course. It is déjà vu. I’ve gone through a similar thing more than a decade ago but I had to go through a similar one after moving to this foreign land I now call home. Both times I found trust to be vital.

 

How do you prepare for an exam? I’d like to share that on today’s two things Tuesday.

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1> Do your best

I remember telling my dad one time when he asked me how my school project was doing, I told him “I try my best”. He told me I’m doing it wrong. My dad said that in everything I do, I shouldn’t just be trying. I should DO my best. I was confused then being an 8 year old but now I understand.

 

We had 8 weeks to prepare for the exam and it seemed short. I had so much topic that I wanted to go back to and caring for a new born is not entirely the perfect timing to be studying for a major exam. But all these things aren’t really obstacles. These are things we often take to make excuses for not focusing on studying, for not keeping with the study plan, for getting unsatisfactory result on practices cases.

 

I realized I can’t focus on the negatives. I can’t focus on what is stopping me to succeed in this. I need to instead concentrate on the things that I can control and can do something about. It is hard but if you put your mind to it, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish. You need to trust yourself that you can do it. Just do your best.

 

It was especially hard to be getting unsatisfactory results on practices cases throughout the preparation module but the important thing is that I know I am doing my best and that I keep trying to improve as I go; because honestly, that’s all I can do.

 

2> God will do the rest

God has been with me throughout my journey and in everything I do, I know there’s only so much that I can do. And that the rest is still up to him. It all boils down to his greater plan. It might not exactly be my plan, but I know for sure that it is what is best.

 

You’ve got to trust the Lord that he will pick up where you left off. He will fill what you’re lacking. He will patch what you are weakest about. You need to trust him that he will be there with you; all the way. And I did. I do.

 

People of different faith may say this is the part where luck plays a role. Whatever it is, you have to trust that the universe, the creator or luck perhaps, has a role in all this. And trust that things will eventually fall into place.

 

 

The preparation is tough but the waiting time is even worse. I don’t know yet how the exam would turn out. But knowing that I did my best and that God’s will will be done gives me comfort that whatever the result will be, I will not have regrets. I will not have what ifs. I will not have anyone to blame yet I have so much to be thankful for. In fact in any endeavour, hard work, trusting yourself and God and making sure that failure won’t bring you down is what it’s all about.

 

 

photo credit:

https://runthisapple.com/

http://www.study-habits.com

should I stay or should I go?

We spend almost all our childhood life in learning institutions. I am talking about regular, mid-type families who can afford formal education. The rest of your years would be another chapter of learning, in a different format, unconfined to any establishment, with a mentor no less than yourself. I used to dream of becoming a mentor. I guess, every child at one point in time thought of it. And for the record, yeah, I thought of becoming a doctor as well. The hard part of education is on the latter chapter. In that case, I can safely say that we spend our entire journey on earth – learning.

Part of education is knowing your options and being certain as you can on the choices you make. And I tell you, every decision that you come across, no matter how little or huge, could change you a lot if not today, definitely in the future. It seemed to me that I am at this point where my decision could mark my career permanently. At times I’d like to think of it as a simple choice between cream based caramel frappuchino and blended coffee caramel frappuchino. They are almost alike I know. But the slight difference is the catch.

If you consider every aspect, every angle, every consequence, ever pros and cons – does that make it the best choice? Or does fulfillment and peace of mind does it? Tough call, believe me. I could rant all I want about it and discuss it to all of my friends for advice. I could post a poll on the internet or flip a coin or something. With that I definitely could pick one. And this dilemma would be all over. Done. But I just can’t. So should I stay or should I go?

Time will be my savior. Time that never stops for anyone. Time that just goes on no matter what. Time that never goes back. Time who seem not to care. Ironically, time will tell me. Not what to do, what to choose, what to decide. Time will tell me that it is time to stop thinking. And then, my decision would be final. When that moment comes, it will be crucial. The decisions wouldn’t be so strong anymore. It probably would not be well thought of either. But one thing is certain, it will be final.

 

photo credit:
https://www.google.ca

growing old

The dotted lines in a coloring book
As a child you Trace and look
Careful not to break the chain
Eager for achievement to obtain

Lost in the bustling huge city
Ignorant to the world’s cruelty
You start to question how and why
You Trace your way as you start to cry

The lines on your face are evident
Trace of joy, fear and lonesome event
The mirror shall be the true picture
Of a meaningful past but not the future

how to deal

I cast my fear aside

I wish for a slower tide

Hoping I can handle the stride

Refusing to drown and collide

 

Life has thrown me lemons

Haunted by all my demons

I intended to build a fearsome beacon

For in time I will soar like falcon

 

Desperation lead to more frustration

Feels so alone amidst the commotion

Doomed in the precipice of confusion

Counting the days for absolution

 

It does get Better if not worse

I just had to stay atop my horse

Face this trouble with might and force

And keep the hope burning of course

TGIF – beautiful scars

It’s been a wonderful week.. thank God it’s Friday!

 

I am thankful for all my scars and that might have sounded weird for some. In life, I learned that we need to see the good side of all the bad stuff, ergo scars are beautiful.

 

I have scabies when I was a kid and I carried those scars until now. Some of them have faded completely but some were too deep it created a deep crater in my skin. This physical scar is kind of hard to shake.

 

I was laughed at and bullied in school because I was different. I have fresh wounds on my legs and so I hated PE days when we need to wear shorts. I was humiliated and shamed for the longest time. These scars will always remind me of being weak.

 

I learned to be tough so I can ignore my classmates as they whisper behind my back. I had to be strong and choose to come to school every day even if was hell for me. These scars will also remind me of how I became resilient and strong.

 

I have gone through all sorts of pain – losing a competition, failing an exam, getting kicked out of school, disappointing my parents, fighting with my sibling, getting my heartbroken, etc. This emotional scar is as much harder to shake.

 

In my life’s ups and down I’ve accumulated a variety of scars that brings about sadness and frustrations but it also made me a better person. I have become a person who is ready to take on more challenge and eager to triumph more of life’s obstacles.

 

Physical or emotional scars, I’d like to appreciate them and you should too. It is a reminder that life ain’t easy but it does get better. It is proof that we can be fragile then strong the next. So bring it on!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

photo credit: http://www.funkyfaithgirl.com