stroll

I came by an enormous tree
I pictured myself climbing
I started to count one to three
I doubted and went back to walking

I saw a child playing at the park
He tripped and stumbled upon a rock
I moved to help then stopped at a mark
There, unmoving, as though I was stuck

I went passed the school where I wanted to go
Thought of how I gave up the endeavor
I was indecisive not knowing what to do
Till this moment I have not filled that fervor

*for the daily post:
Tentative
photo credit:
https://priviews.wordpress.com

Advertisements

how to prepare for an exam

I recently wrote a major common final examination. I’ve been preparing for this since I decided to start the course. It is déjà vu. I’ve gone through a similar thing more than a decade ago but I had to go through a similar one after moving to this foreign land I now call home. Both times I found trust to be vital.

 

How do you prepare for an exam? I’d like to share that on today’s two things Tuesday.

wp.jpg

1> Do your best

I remember telling my dad one time when he asked me how my school project was doing, I told him “I try my best”. He told me I’m doing it wrong. My dad said that in everything I do, I shouldn’t just be trying. I should DO my best. I was confused then being an 8 year old but now I understand.

 

We had 8 weeks to prepare for the exam and it seemed short. I had so much topic that I wanted to go back to and caring for a new born is not entirely the perfect timing to be studying for a major exam. But all these things aren’t really obstacles. These are things we often take to make excuses for not focusing on studying, for not keeping with the study plan, for getting unsatisfactory result on practices cases.

 

I realized I can’t focus on the negatives. I can’t focus on what is stopping me to succeed in this. I need to instead concentrate on the things that I can control and can do something about. It is hard but if you put your mind to it, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish. You need to trust yourself that you can do it. Just do your best.

 

It was especially hard to be getting unsatisfactory results on practices cases throughout the preparation module but the important thing is that I know I am doing my best and that I keep trying to improve as I go; because honestly, that’s all I can do.

 

2> God will do the rest

God has been with me throughout my journey and in everything I do, I know there’s only so much that I can do. And that the rest is still up to him. It all boils down to his greater plan. It might not exactly be my plan, but I know for sure that it is what is best.

 

You’ve got to trust the Lord that he will pick up where you left off. He will fill what you’re lacking. He will patch what you are weakest about. You need to trust him that he will be there with you; all the way. And I did. I do.

 

People of different faith may say this is the part where luck plays a role. Whatever it is, you have to trust that the universe, the creator or luck perhaps, has a role in all this. And trust that things will eventually fall into place.

 

 

The preparation is tough but the waiting time is even worse. I don’t know yet how the exam would turn out. But knowing that I did my best and that God’s will will be done gives me comfort that whatever the result will be, I will not have regrets. I will not have what ifs. I will not have anyone to blame yet I have so much to be thankful for. In fact in any endeavour, hard work, trusting yourself and God and making sure that failure won’t bring you down is what it’s all about.

 

 

photo credit:

https://runthisapple.com/

http://www.study-habits.com

should I stay or should I go?

We spend almost all our childhood life in learning institutions. I am talking about regular, mid-type families who can afford formal education. The rest of your years would be another chapter of learning, in a different format, unconfined to any establishment, with a mentor no less than yourself. I used to dream of becoming a mentor. I guess, every child at one point in time thought of it. And for the record, yeah, I thought of becoming a doctor as well. The hard part of education is on the latter chapter. In that case, I can safely say that we spend our entire journey on earth – learning.

Part of education is knowing your options and being certain as you can on the choices you make. And I tell you, every decision that you come across, no matter how little or huge, could change you a lot if not today, definitely in the future. It seemed to me that I am at this point where my decision could mark my career permanently. At times I’d like to think of it as a simple choice between cream based caramel frappuchino and blended coffee caramel frappuchino. They are almost alike I know. But the slight difference is the catch.

If you consider every aspect, every angle, every consequence, ever pros and cons – does that make it the best choice? Or does fulfillment and peace of mind does it? Tough call, believe me. I could rant all I want about it and discuss it to all of my friends for advice. I could post a poll on the internet or flip a coin or something. With that I definitely could pick one. And this dilemma would be all over. Done. But I just can’t. So should I stay or should I go?

Time will be my savior. Time that never stops for anyone. Time that just goes on no matter what. Time that never goes back. Time who seem not to care. Ironically, time will tell me. Not what to do, what to choose, what to decide. Time will tell me that it is time to stop thinking. And then, my decision would be final. When that moment comes, it will be crucial. The decisions wouldn’t be so strong anymore. It probably would not be well thought of either. But one thing is certain, it will be final.

 

photo credit:
https://www.google.ca

growing old

The dotted lines in a coloring book
As a child you Trace and look
Careful not to break the chain
Eager for achievement to obtain

Lost in the bustling huge city
Ignorant to the world’s cruelty
You start to question how and why
You Trace your way as you start to cry

The lines on your face are evident
Trace of joy, fear and lonesome event
The mirror shall be the true picture
Of a meaningful past but not the future

how to deal

I cast my fear aside

I wish for a slower tide

Hoping I can handle the stride

Refusing to drown and collide

 

Life has thrown me lemons

Haunted by all my demons

I intended to build a fearsome beacon

For in time I will soar like falcon

 

Desperation lead to more frustration

Feels so alone amidst the commotion

Doomed in the precipice of confusion

Counting the days for absolution

 

It does get Better if not worse

I just had to stay atop my horse

Face this trouble with might and force

And keep the hope burning of course

TGIF – beautiful scars

It’s been a wonderful week.. thank God it’s Friday!

 

I am thankful for all my scars and that might have sounded weird for some. In life, I learned that we need to see the good side of all the bad stuff, ergo scars are beautiful.

 

I have scabies when I was a kid and I carried those scars until now. Some of them have faded completely but some were too deep it created a deep crater in my skin. This physical scar is kind of hard to shake.

 

I was laughed at and bullied in school because I was different. I have fresh wounds on my legs and so I hated PE days when we need to wear shorts. I was humiliated and shamed for the longest time. These scars will always remind me of being weak.

 

I learned to be tough so I can ignore my classmates as they whisper behind my back. I had to be strong and choose to come to school every day even if was hell for me. These scars will also remind me of how I became resilient and strong.

 

I have gone through all sorts of pain – losing a competition, failing an exam, getting kicked out of school, disappointing my parents, fighting with my sibling, getting my heartbroken, etc. This emotional scar is as much harder to shake.

 

In my life’s ups and down I’ve accumulated a variety of scars that brings about sadness and frustrations but it also made me a better person. I have become a person who is ready to take on more challenge and eager to triumph more of life’s obstacles.

 

Physical or emotional scars, I’d like to appreciate them and you should too. It is a reminder that life ain’t easy but it does get better. It is proof that we can be fragile then strong the next. So bring it on!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

photo credit: http://www.funkyfaithgirl.com

bad news, good news

I love singing on videoke. It’s probably one of those things that I miss about home. In fact it’s that one thing that’s always on my to-do list whenever I go home for vacation. See, I love singing but singing can’t particularly say the same with me.

I found that for people who are not particularly good in singing, it’s important to know what songs you are able to sing and be able to sound authentically talented. I tried quite a lot of songs – those that I like to sing and luckily, some of them sound fine when I sing it. One of these songs is Turn Back Time by Aqua.

images

“If only I can turn back time
If only I had said what I still hide
If only I can turn back time
I would stay for the night”

For a moment there, I may have misled you to think that this is about my singing prowess but I actually wanted to talk about time. Have you told yourself, if only you can turn back time? Or maybe I should ask how many times you have told that to yourself.

I have bad news and good news about time. I’d like to share that on today’s two things Tuesday.

1> Bad news: time is never on our side
One of things we have no Control over is time. No one can make it stop or turn it neither faster nor slow. There is no rewind and no replay. Once you forgo a chance at a time, it will be gone; it is gone. We will not be as strong or young as we are now.

5-minute-timer

You know how it feels like forever when you’re waiting for your friend at the mall when you both agreed to meet after work at 5 pm? You check your watch every minute and though it’s only been 5 minutes since you got there at your meeting place, it feels really annoying that your friend is late – again.

How about when you’re writing an exam when the proctor speaks to inform all of you in the exam room that you need to wrap it up because you have 5 minutes remaining to finish the test? That 5 minutes would totally feel like 5 seconds for sure.

Time is never on our side and though that sounds a little bit on the negative, it is as optimist as it could ever sound as well. I guess all we can really do is to make use of time wisely because time is something we cannot afford to waste.

2> Good news: time is always enough
Have you ever felt like there’s always just not enough time? You wake up late, you’re stuck in traffic, you waited in line at the grocery too long and the day is almost over but there’s so much that needs to be done.

It is kind of hard to believe that time is always enough but it really is. The reason why it does not seem so is because we are more often than not unrealistic to our goals and when we should’ve accomplished them. The reason why time feels like it’s never enough because we need to be better at time management.

index

So the next time you are tempted to say, “I don’t have time”, think about the 24 long hours that you are given each day. That is enough time to spend with family, friends, work, solitude and rest.

photo credit:

https://runthisapple.com/

http://www.picslyrics.net

http://suehenrytalks.com

http://www.bethanybutzer.com