anger has left me

It truly is amazing how deep, nurtured angst can instantly disappear with just a desperately anticipated call from someone not even on your phone book. It has been a battle and continuous struggle for a couple of years where I almost convinced myself that I’m actually trapped. I longed for my independence. And I thought I’d finally be able to say all the bottled up thoughts when independence day comes. I thought I could finally speak up and release my rage. I was surprised to be wrong.

 

It’s a wonderful feeling to finally be free of all the hurt and hate. Life has become too heavy to live with all those emotional baggage that kept piling up. I have caused damage to my own self because of retaliations that are my only escape to keep afloat. For a time, I looked myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize the reflection staring back at me.

 

Now my plate’s clean and empty. My heart is filled with only gratitude and hope. Now I can live again. Now I am breathing. Now I am free.

comfort zone

As we journey life, we gradually construct a bubble where we cushion ourselves from eminent threat, fear of failure and bad luck. We try to make that bubble as sturdy and impenetrable as we can. We know we’ll be safe as long as we stay there.

When life throws us a curve ball, we struggle to dodge it then kick it out of the way. When changes like this happen, we worry. We trouble ourselves about the safety of our bubble and totally digress our focus from what really matters.

A safe zone is not always going to hold. We need to be prepared for anything that life will throw at us. Building a wall to stop change or weaving a trap to catch danger is not the things we need to be prepared. We need to think about preparations as being strong.

We will be afraid. We will be shaken. We might fall. We might lose. But we need not fear. We need not be Nervous. We will prevail. We will rise above it.