shall be anger

Anyone may think that we know ourselves better than anyone or anything. Logical, yes but not absolutely true. Even our very own self is in discovery of who we really are each and every day. Our personalities are so dynamic that we can’t put it in a box and define it in full, actual detail. There’s always a catch. It’s like a genie’s wish – tricky and almost always not the way you think it’s going to end up.

I took this random quiz on facebook the other day. It’s supposed to find out and tell you what 7 deadly sin are you. I kind of knew what I would turn out to be but I took the quiz anyway. I was actually surprised it was pride! I mean really surprised. I honestly, truly believe that it can’t be pride. On all arguments with my brother, which was not petty, I am the one calming down first and making the first move to reconcile. I apologize and that’s never a problem for me. I strongly believe I am humble enough on other aspects. This really sounds like I’m putting myself on a pedestal but I’m not. I’m just trying to convince myself that there’s some truth on the quiz or none.

I was really vouching for anger to come out. I would have no questions at all if it did. I am definitely easily angered. And I do stupid things because I am angry. It’s just pretty obvious that’s all. I don’t know whatever happened to the quiz. Is this an eye opener for me? Now that’s making me think. And I got my answer like, in a matter of days.

We had this argument which was really petty and unimaginably irrelevant. But it turned out to be a big fight. And I was analyzing everything as it happens and I found out it was more of my fault. I couldn’t brush that off but definitely he has his fair share contribution on how things turned out to be a mess. I couldn’t get myself to apologize or anything to that effect. Then I remembered the quiz and I just realized, it was happening right now.

I turned things around. I told myself It’s not going to be pride. It shall be anger.

I myself didn’t know myself. I had to rationalize and choose how’s it’s going to be. Our personality is so dynamic and there’s much more to it than we may ever know. It was a choice and a discovery.