My precious

What do you consider your most prized possession? Could be your new jeep Cherokee – red with shiny wheels; could be your Iwatch that you got from your birthday; could be a medal when you won a speech contest or sports tournament. Now, if we try to take a moment and dig deeper into ourselves, beyond the material possessions that we consider important, beyond the dreams we’ve achieved, we realize that our most prized possession is our life. It is that one thing that we cannot replace; that one thing that once we lose it, everything else we own or have or known would not matter.

Life is really as simple as breathing in and breathing out but we insist on making it complicated. In our dire efforts to live life to the fullest, we create an endless list of goals and wants, a bucketful list of adventures we’d like to experience in our lifetime and the desire to find the love that we are meant to be with.

I’m going to share with you 2 poems that I strongly relate to how we need to value our real most prized possession, life. The first poem talks about love and the second is all about struggle and will to survive.

Here goes the first poem, Died for Love

In the park where I did dwell
I met a boy I loved like hell
There he took my heart from me
And now he wants me to set him free
He let a strange girl sat on his knee
Told her things he never told me
For I know the reason why
The girl was much prettier than I
I went home and cried in bed
Not a word to mother I said
My dad came home late at night
And searched for me from left to right
On my door he surely broke
For there I was hanging on a rope
He got a knife and cut me down
And on my bed a note was found
Dig my grave and dig it deep
Put marble stones from head to feet
And on my head put a dove
To show the world I died for love

The poem is plain and very straightforward and it talks about how something pure and wonderful as love could bring about darkness and pain into a person’s life that it has the power to make you think that losing your life, which is your most prized possession is worth nothing. We need to look beyond our broken hearts and emotional struggles and realize that no amount of pain should ever let us look at life any less. Ultimately, it tells us that life is worth living for whatever it trials we go through.

The second poem I’d like to share is, Invictus meaning invincible:

Out of the night that covers me
Black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head I bloody but unbowed
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid
It matters not how strait the gate
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul

The poem talks about struggles in general that we go through in life and how these struggles should never make us feel that life is worthless. The poem explains that however troubled our past was it prepares us for the future and that we should not be afraid. We are in charge of our life with the choices that we make, the master of our destiny and the captain of our being. Ultimately, it tells us that life is worth living for whatever it trials we go through.

2 strong poems that speaks about love, struggle and the will to survive; factors that affect how we spend our most prized possession. Shows us 2 routes that we can take – either we give up, give up our life or fight and overcome whatever’s thrown our way. Ultimately, it tells us that life is worth living for whatever it trials we go through.

In conclusion, let me leave you with a quote from Emily Dickinson:

“That it will never come again is what makes life sweet”.

**
I wrote this speech for the 5th speech project on the Competent Communication manual Your body speaks. The objectives of this speech are:

• Use stance, movement, gestures, facial expressions and eye contact to express your message and achieve your speech’s purpose.
• Make your body language smooth and natural.

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A touch

The very first was when he held me
Warm and tight on my upper arm
As we cross the street so uncalm
Leading the way, leading me

All these began inside the movie house
where lights are out and the cold was so much
Him beside me his hands like mouse
Creeping on my hands slowly to touch

It all started as we were strolling
Uncomfortable and so uneasy walking
Placing his hand over my shoulder hesitantly
Even tried on the hips coz I made it no easy

As he held my hand so cold
While his so warm and heavy
He planted a kiss in it so lightly
It lasted a while then tightened his hold

how to prepare for an exam

I recently wrote a major common final examination. I’ve been preparing for this since I decided to start the course. It is déjà vu. I’ve gone through a similar thing more than a decade ago but I had to go through a similar one after moving to this foreign land I now call home. Both times I found trust to be vital.

 

How do you prepare for an exam? I’d like to share that on today’s two things Tuesday.

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1> Do your best

I remember telling my dad one time when he asked me how my school project was doing, I told him “I try my best”. He told me I’m doing it wrong. My dad said that in everything I do, I shouldn’t just be trying. I should DO my best. I was confused then being an 8 year old but now I understand.

 

We had 8 weeks to prepare for the exam and it seemed short. I had so much topic that I wanted to go back to and caring for a new born is not entirely the perfect timing to be studying for a major exam. But all these things aren’t really obstacles. These are things we often take to make excuses for not focusing on studying, for not keeping with the study plan, for getting unsatisfactory result on practices cases.

 

I realized I can’t focus on the negatives. I can’t focus on what is stopping me to succeed in this. I need to instead concentrate on the things that I can control and can do something about. It is hard but if you put your mind to it, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish. You need to trust yourself that you can do it. Just do your best.

 

It was especially hard to be getting unsatisfactory results on practices cases throughout the preparation module but the important thing is that I know I am doing my best and that I keep trying to improve as I go; because honestly, that’s all I can do.

 

2> God will do the rest

God has been with me throughout my journey and in everything I do, I know there’s only so much that I can do. And that the rest is still up to him. It all boils down to his greater plan. It might not exactly be my plan, but I know for sure that it is what is best.

 

You’ve got to trust the Lord that he will pick up where you left off. He will fill what you’re lacking. He will patch what you are weakest about. You need to trust him that he will be there with you; all the way. And I did. I do.

 

People of different faith may say this is the part where luck plays a role. Whatever it is, you have to trust that the universe, the creator or luck perhaps, has a role in all this. And trust that things will eventually fall into place.

 

 

The preparation is tough but the waiting time is even worse. I don’t know yet how the exam would turn out. But knowing that I did my best and that God’s will will be done gives me comfort that whatever the result will be, I will not have regrets. I will not have what ifs. I will not have anyone to blame yet I have so much to be thankful for. In fact in any endeavour, hard work, trusting yourself and God and making sure that failure won’t bring you down is what it’s all about.

 

 

photo credit:

https://runthisapple.com/

http://www.study-habits.com

when I was a kid

I have these strange thought about things when I was a kid and i’d like to know what’s yours. It just amazes me how children so young could come up with such crazy ideas and it’s so unique. Here’s mine and I’m really looking forward to hearing about yours.

thought # 1
I was so confused about this sign written on walls on the streets. It says “POST NO BILL”. It made me wonder why all those walls were as clean as the cloud. I asked my mom and I couldn’t get myself to agree with her. She told me it means that you can’t post anything on the walls. It totally meant the opposite to me. As I understand it then, it meant – you can post and you won’t have to pay for it.

thought # 2
I never realized there were traffic lights that tells you that you need to stop or that you can go. So I was thinking what could be wrong whenever the cars stopped on a red light. I figured there could be a car on the forefront who stopped and went to buy a cigar or something from a nearby convenience store so every car after it had to wait in line. It wasn’t a very convincing idea even to myself but I managed to believe in it for a while.

 

Photo credit: http://info.alleninteractions.com

 

Treasured mistake

This is a piece of me..

Once upon a time, I wanted to be a writer.

**

There seemed to be music all around. The sky is indeed bluer than it ever did for the past 25 years that I’ve seen it. The wind seemed to whisper sweet I love yous to my ears. The mornings are as wonderful as the heaven. I am in ecstasy!

He just celebrated his birthday a couple of days ago. As a gift to himself, he made plans to go out – by himself – originally. I don’t want to speculate anymore if he did plan all things – for us. Was he just being his conceited self? Am I just a reserve for the girl who he really wanted to come but couldn’t? I don’t’ want to think of anything negative or hurting anymore for tonight is ours – our night – my night. I met him for dinner. I promised to treat him for his birthday. I have longed for this moment alone with him. Just the two of us – kind of dating. It was really awkward I must admit. In the length of our friendship, this is the second time we’ve gone out just the two of us. We got so caught up with talking we didn’t realize we’re still going to a concert. On the cab on our way to the place, I tried my best to be as normal as a best friend could ever be. I was torn between what I wanted to do and what I am expected of. He made the moves that surprised me in a lot more ways than one. He’s been really sweet with me all these years and I have always enjoyed my status. I mean status of being the special best friend. Sometimes I’d like to think of us as more than friends but less than lovers. He held my hand and held me really close with his arms around my back and shoulders. He was very gentle.

The gig was so short. It was funny because it was all over when we got there and surprisingly he didn’t feel bad at all. It was his most favorite band after all. We decided to head to my place somewhere near. The cab ride was the shortest I’ve had. I wanted to lie on his shoulders all night long. But borrowed time is all we have. We bought a few drinks on our way.

I never thought of this happening – tonight. But I did thought of it over in my mind for so long. It’s because I was sure it was not going to happen. I used to tell myself I am the safest girl he’s ever been close to. And I’m sadly proud of it. Sad because it makes me feel unattractive to his eyes also. And there, the next thing I knew, our lips were locked and my tongue was exploring his mouth. His tongue was gently touching my wet lips. Exchanges of breaths and his smell lingered on my nose. I stopped him as he was going to touch me. It was my goody-two-shoes-self taking over. We kissed once more. And we knew we shouldn’t. There were funny moments afterwards. I guess we were both keeping it safe. I urged him to stay for the night. But he always tells me – he’s fine with little times we could spend around each other rather than it be the longest last. I longed for him as I see him off.

Was it real? Was he just under alcohol influence? He isn’t really a drinker. I could knock him down if I wanted to. Was he thinking of doing it? Was it spontaneous? Was he trying to be spontaneous because I told him if I’d do something I want it to be spontaneous? Will our friendship be the same? That I’d make sure.

I know it isn’t right. I lied and betrayed a lot of people – my family, my friends, his wife, his other girl and myself. I failed myself. I failed to prove that platonic friendship does exist. I do like him. But I couldn’t tell my best friend that. But I bet he knew. Confessions of a third party but there is safety in no confirmations. I made a mistake and I don’t want to feel guilty. I have this treasured mistake with me. It will be a treasure that only Carlo and I would share.

a little

When I was little
I think about love just a little
I look at boys just a little
And nothing more than that

When I grew a little
I think about boys more not little
I look forward to falling in love more not little
I knew there’s more to that

I’m not yet grown up, just a little
I don’t think about boys but one, more than a little
And I think I know love more than when I was little
And I wish there’s more to that

solitary

I find myself in the dark staring at a corner where a shed of light seem to come through. I was never scared of the dark. I grew up understanding that everything isn’t supposed to be all pretty all the time. My solitude is mainly dark nights, alone with my thoughts either about the future – which I try so hard to figure out before it happens or the past – which I try so hard to replay and hope to change. I conclude these nights with a question – how did I ever get this dark? How did I ever become so entangled with things I can never control?

Ironically, no matter how tragic my thoughts appear, would anyone believe that I am not sad? I am merely walking down memory lane when I was with a friend and friends. The cherished memories of knowing that even in solitude I will never be alone. These memories are both happy and nostalgic. Maybe I have a twisted way of looking at things and a really crappy way of being moved by negativity but none of these matters. In the end, I find myself in the dark staring at a corner where a shed of light seem to come through.