TGIF – Try

It was an awesome week, thank god it’s Friday!

Growing up, I had many struggles. Struggles that I made sure to win.

Some of them I lost entirely but most of them, I won; after years of trying and a lot of time consoling myself for the failures along the way.

Success is much sweeter when you’ve worked so hard for it and reminiscing over the multiple downs and upset days you’ve gone through. I’m not saying one should fail multiple times first and succeed after so many tries.

All I’m saying is that, it is a sweeter revenge when you’ve accomplished something even if the world sort of told you that you can’t.

My hubby have been trying to pass the road test to get a driver’s license for about a year now. He can only try every after a couple of weeks after the last one but it took him a year because he got so frustrated he didn’t want to try again right away.

And so with much urging and incessant convincing, he recently actively booked road tests after road tests. I may not know exactly how he feels at every failure but I certainly know the feeling of being a disappointment.

Just this week, we went for another one which I almost cancelled on because I had “better” things to do that day.

My stomach was full of flying butterflies as he pulled out of the parking lot with yet another examiner. And the butterflies grew even worse when I saw the car pulled back. Exam is over.

I waited in the room, looking at a distance at the car while the instructor and my hubby was intently discussing how the exam went. I wasn’t sure what to do.

I have exhausted all the inspiring and consoling words to say. What should I say this time?

The most awaited moment happened. He passed!

I was filled with so much enthusiasm. I was even more ecstatic that him. I think he grew numb to the feeling of failing time and again.

Ultimately, there is no one or nothing that can stop you from achieving anything that you want. It takes a lot of courage to face the possibilities of disappointment but the probability of actually succeeding should exceed that.

We should not stop trying. We should always strive for victory. We shall have it. As I always tell myself, I will not be discouraged, I will be avenged.

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TGIF – change

It’s been a wonderful week.. thank God it’s Friday!

I walked along a familiar aisle towards a desk at the south end of the second floor. It was a year ago since I was there last.

Part of me is excited to be back but a bigger part of me is a little lonely. I was happy a year ago before I went on maternity leave. I was part of a great team, fun trio, reliable colleagues and almost friends.

As I come closer to my desk, it hit me that my go-to guy has left and found a greener Pasteur; my turn-to gal has left to enjoy the coming of her newborn.

Change is here.

I sat on my desk and fired up my computer. It’s all starting to come back to me. I spent the day going through my thousand emails that are now completely irrelevant. I worked on getting all my access back and organizing my stuff.

I posted back the photo of me and my husband where I used to pin it. I have an addition this time. My son’s best photo yet.

Change is here.

A couple days later, my senior and I had a refresher meeting for the changes that have happened with the accounts that I used to do and how things are going to be done moving forward. After seeing all the spreadsheets and going over the folders in my computer, I felt home. I felt I’m back where I used to be.

The same afternoon of the refresher, I was called into a meeting with a few others from a different department. I knew something is up.

Management has decided to move me to a different department so now I’m going to do a different account that is totally different from what I’ve been doing for the last couple years.

Change is here.

It’s been a week now and things are still all new to me. It would’ve been nice to go back to what I’m used to do but I realized change is good. You just have to take it in, embrace it and give it a shot. It’s not that bad.

Change offers new learning, growth, excitement and it piques your brain after being static for being too familiar with something. I like where I am now. I do miss all the people I used to work with that are now gone and I’m still getting to know my new team. I can’t help but compare but in truth, it is what it is.

Change is here and it’s either we adapt to it or be stubborn and stuck. I choose to move forward.

photo credit:

http://www.funkyfaithgirl.com

 

How to achieve your goals and wants

We want all sorts of things in life – successful career, happy family, fit body to name a few. We also have so much goals – friendship goals, relationship goals, health goals and so much more. There are lots of information online that we can access that will provide us with specific tips on very specific goals and wants that we want to pursue but realistically there are only 2.

How do you achieve your life’s goals and wants? I’d like to share that on today’s two things Tuesday.

1> Want it

When I was pregnant with my boy, one time I bought a huge bag of hash browns because I saw it on TV and I told myself I want that. The next day, I ended up giving it away coz I don’t want it anymore.

Even after pregnancy, I have a tendency to want something today and realized I don’t really have any desire for it.

One of the many reasons for not achieving your life’s goals and wants is – not wanting something hard enough. We are easily thrown by little struggles and issues along the way. It is vital that we are certain and determined when we want to achieve something.

I wanted to be a CPA and so even if I failed some subjects and got kicked out of school, had to start over, had to stomach staring eyes, had to live with guilt for failing my parents, had to take the licensure exam twice. I made it! Because I want it.

In fact I want it so much, I took another CPA license when I moved in Canada. Now I am proud to be a CPA not once but twice.

2>Do it

Wanting to learn how to bike but not practicing at all is tantamount to nothing. Achieving your goals does not end in wanting it. The hard part towards that goal is actually working on it.

It may be difficult to know where to start of how to begin the journey but if you are determined, nothing is going to stop you; not distance, time, age or money. You just have to take the first step and then everything else will follow.

I wanted a better life for me, my family and my own family-to-be and I’ve decided that I need to move to a different country to achieve that. It is a hard decision as it requires leaving my loved ones, my friends, going out of my comfort zone and starting over from scratch.

I stalled the application for some time because I thought I needed more time to be emotionally prepared. Also, there’s always something great that’s happening to me that makes me think it might not be the best decision.

Until one day, I’ve decided to just jump on the wagon and do it! That was about 4 years ago and soon I will be eligible for citizenship. Goal achieved!

 

It will take courage, emotional preparedness and will to achieve anything. With the combination of wanting it then doing it plus all the help you can get from friends, family and online – failure will soon be a thing of the past.

 

photo credit:

https://runthisapple.com/

http://www.study-habits.com

Update Required!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you it’s been a busy week altogether and I bet you had a busy one too.

**

I recently got back to work and I’ve been dealing with coping up to so many changes. I was away for about a year and it was naive and a bit stupid for me to think that I’d be going back to the same things.

For the most part, yes, I still hold the same position and I’m still part of the same department. I still sit on the same boring, neatly arranged table and my old files for storage still sit under my desk.

A week after coming back, management decided to move me to a new team and gave me a new account that is totally different than what I’ve been doing which happened right after the refresher meeting I had with my old senior. Hah!

**

I got married in 2015 but a part of me didn’t want to let go of my family name. For one, I don’t particularly like my husband’s last name. I felt it didn’t fit me yet. That has nothing to do with love at all, purely aesthetic.

Now, I’ve decided to change my name to take my husband’s last name. Whew! This is it! It’s funny though because when I went to have my driver’s license updated, the agent asked me to sign electronically to complete my application and it hit me! I haven’t really thought about that yet.

Overall, I’ve got the important ones done but I still got a long list – banks, phone company, membership organizations, insurances, etc.

-> Change is the only thing constant in the world and we need to take it, embrace it and live with it. I remind myself that I need to look at the good sides of change for growth to be more effective and fruitful. We love the old but it’s time for the new!

A question to an answer

What’s on your mind? Facebook asks me that every single time! How are you? How’s it going? These are questions that aim to start a conversation. Why are you here? How did you do that? These questions are geared towards hearing more explanation and understanding. Are you going? Do you like that? These questions require a specific and direct response. We ask questions because we want to know; we want to understand. We ask questions because we want answers and every answer is important. From answers, we draw conclusions, we decide based on it. But sometimes questions are more important than answers.

 

All my life I have tried to challenge the statement, there are no stupid questions. It was only in January of this year that I finally succeeded! In January, I went back to the Philippines to get married. And to make the most out of my very short stay, I have arranged for a private pool resort out of town to get together with my friends and have a little party. So I asked my cousin who owns the resort how to get there. She sent me a text message of the directions. She mentioned what exit to take on the highway, turn left after the exit and gave me 711 and a water district as the landmarks then we can turn right and the resort would be to our left. So we drove early in the morning to a 3 hour drive to the resort. After the highway exit, we turned left. Following my cousin’s direction we should pass by a 711 store and turn right after the water district. We’ve been on the road for 20 minutes and no sign of the landmarks we’re looking for and by the looks of it, we are obviously lost. I don’t have my cousin’s mobile number so I tried her on facebook but she’s not responding. My friend tried to Google map the address and all it showed was a green dot, which is where we were and a massive white all around it. Clearly there are not a lot of people who use maps in the Philippines. I’m not sure if that’s why the maps are not updated or the other way around. For the first time, the map offered no answer at all so we figured we can ask around. My other friend volunteered and got off the car and asked a man standing by the street while we pulled over to the side and wait quietly in the car. When he came back, he said the man told him we missed a turn. So we turned around and took a turn, soon enough we passed by the 711 store so we all thought we’re finally on the right track. But then 15minutes of driving and yet no water district on sight, not even a street where we could turn right. So my friend decided we need to ask again so we pulled over and he got off the car. When he came back he said we’re on the right path it’s just going to be a few kilometers more. So we were relieved and went on. 5 kilometers after, it looked like the road is winding down and soon enough there we were headed to a dead end. We’ve been going around the town for 45 minutes and I it’s starting to upset me. So I asked my friend, “what did the first and the second guy told you?” My friend said, “well I asked where the 711 store is that’s close to the water district and he said we missed a turn so I told you we need to turn around. And then I asked the second guy where the water district is and he said it’s at the end of this road closer to the river.” Dead silent inside the car but my brain shouted wow! We are heading to the right direction after all – that is if we want to go to the water district! I decided to just call my aunt’s home, because that’s the only landline number I can recall after being gone for a year, so I can get my other aunt’s office number to get their home phone number to try to get my cousin’s mobile number so I can call her. Half an hour later, I was able to reach my cousin and we finally got to the resort exhausted.

 

Asking the right questions take as much skill as giving the right answer. As odd as it sounds, we need to first identify what answers we want so we know what kind of questions to ask. Formulating questions is like using a computer – garbage in, garbage out. Whatever quality of data you put in is the same quality of data you can expect to get. Even Google search is all about formulating a good question. If you formulate a bad keyword to search – vague and unclear, it’s not going to give you a useful answer.

 

To conclude my speech I wanted to leave you with a quote and so I googled it and found an African proverb that says “the one who asks questions doesn’t lose his way”. Uhm, not really. I clicked the next button and found this:

 

“There are no right answers to wrong questions” – by Ursula Le Guin.

 

**

I wrote this speech for the 6th speech project on the Competent Communication manual Vocal Variety. The objectives of this speech are:

  • Use voice volume, pitch, rate, and quality to reflect and add meaning and interest to your message
  • Use pauses to enhance your message
  • Use vocal variety smoothly and naturally