This is a piece of me..
I received the greatest gift so far. My son.
I did not want to have kids as I was growing up. I wanted to have kids of my own but the thought of carrying them in my womb for 9 long months and having to physically bring them out into the world scares me the most.
When I said scared, I am not talking about the dangers and complexities of being pregnant. And you would think I am selfish and vain but I was more concerned about how to get rid of the belly that might not go away. Ever. At all.
During my third trimester is when my tummy started to grow significantly big and after gaining 15 kg, at that point, I told myself, I’m never going to get back on all my old clothes. And so I packed all of them and placed them in a box for donation as tears started to roll from my eyes.
Was that me being pregnant and hormonal? Or was that me being my vain, selfish self? I wouldn’t know for sure.
I am a planner. It pains me not to know what’s going to happen in the next 24 hours more so how it’s going to unfold. So I tried every possible way to mitigate this concern and booked pre-natal classes and hospital tours, watched videos and read anything baby related I can search Google for.
With all these so called preparations, I realized lots of people tell you a lot of things that you can expect about pregnancy and child birth but there’s also a fair amount of information they neglect to tell you. Ergo, there’s only so much you can do to prepare and things will happen as they should and you should not worry too much; easier said than done for sure.
I was in pain for a good couple months and though I loved my son the moment I had some spotting during my first trimester and realized I could lose him, I was frustrated with how sleep deprived I was and how so little time I have left for myself.
I love my son and I would go through everything over again for him. To all mom to be/s or new moms who is overwhelmed by all the changes in their lives, it is important to stand back, look at your precious little ones and appreciate their beauty.
More importantly, know that things will get back to normal soon enough. It may not be exactly how it used to be – your body, your lifestyle and sleep times but it will have some normalcy at some point.
The journey into becoming a mother is a lifetime trek – unpredictable, swift, rewarding and can be frustrating. It is a role that will last until your last day on earth. It does not begin when you give birth and it does not end when your child turns 18; not even 40.
You will be a mom for the remaining of your lifetime but your little ones will not be babies for the remaining of your lifetime. So enjoy them while they are tiny and fragile because they will not be that small again.