Snob. That is the classic first Impression of me. And for my entire life I have wanted it to be that. It was my shield.
I grew up being bullied because I was an ugly duckling – I was skinny, plain, quiet and had bad teeth. I was bullied because I was poor – my uniform is off white because it’s been handed down to me instead of white like my other classmates; I wear civilian about a month when the school changed our uniform because we cannot afford to buy the new set of uniform right away.
At such a young age I started to build my own wall to separate me from the bad ones, the strong ones, the rich and famous. That wall I kept on building and made sturdy until I don’t recall I have built a wall.
It was sad behind the wall. It was lonely behind the wall. I was alone but I felt safe.
I made myself tough and able to fight for myself. I trained myself to be assertive when I have to and to not let others talk down on me or look down on me. I learned to value myself and I realized I am no less than others.
Even my closest friends would describe me as a snob, intimidating, unfriendly. That’s also the reason how I ended up with only the good ones; friends for keeps because only those with sincerity and pure intent of friendship are the ones who were able to cross the wall.
Snob. It’s how I was perceived by others because that is exactly how I wanted them to see me. In the end, their Impression is real and intended.