TGIF – Try

It was an awesome week, thank god it’s Friday!

Growing up, I had many struggles. Struggles that I made sure to win.

Some of them I lost entirely but most of them, I won; after years of trying and a lot of time consoling myself for the failures along the way.

Success is much sweeter when you’ve worked so hard for it and reminiscing over the multiple downs and upset days you’ve gone through. I’m not saying one should fail multiple times first and succeed after so many tries.

All I’m saying is that, it is a sweeter revenge when you’ve accomplished something even if the world sort of told you that you can’t.

My hubby have been trying to pass the road test to get a driver’s license for about a year now. He can only try every after a couple of weeks after the last one but it took him a year because he got so frustrated he didn’t want to try again right away.

And so with much urging and incessant convincing, he recently actively booked road tests after road tests. I may not know exactly how he feels at every failure but I certainly know the feeling of being a disappointment.

Just this week, we went for another one which I almost cancelled on because I had “better” things to do that day.

My stomach was full of flying butterflies as he pulled out of the parking lot with yet another examiner. And the butterflies grew even worse when I saw the car pulled back. Exam is over.

I waited in the room, looking at a distance at the car while the instructor and my hubby was intently discussing how the exam went. I wasn’t sure what to do.

I have exhausted all the inspiring and consoling words to say. What should I say this time?

The most awaited moment happened. He passed!

I was filled with so much enthusiasm. I was even more ecstatic that him. I think he grew numb to the feeling of failing time and again.

Ultimately, there is no one or nothing that can stop you from achieving anything that you want. It takes a lot of courage to face the possibilities of disappointment but the probability of actually succeeding should exceed that.

We should not stop trying. We should always strive for victory. We shall have it. As I always tell myself, I will not be discouraged, I will be avenged.

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TGIF – change

It’s been a wonderful week.. thank God it’s Friday!

I walked along a familiar aisle towards a desk at the south end of the second floor. It was a year ago since I was there last.

Part of me is excited to be back but a bigger part of me is a little lonely. I was happy a year ago before I went on maternity leave. I was part of a great team, fun trio, reliable colleagues and almost friends.

As I come closer to my desk, it hit me that my go-to guy has left and found a greener Pasteur; my turn-to gal has left to enjoy the coming of her newborn.

Change is here.

I sat on my desk and fired up my computer. It’s all starting to come back to me. I spent the day going through my thousand emails that are now completely irrelevant. I worked on getting all my access back and organizing my stuff.

I posted back the photo of me and my husband where I used to pin it. I have an addition this time. My son’s best photo yet.

Change is here.

A couple days later, my senior and I had a refresher meeting for the changes that have happened with the accounts that I used to do and how things are going to be done moving forward. After seeing all the spreadsheets and going over the folders in my computer, I felt home. I felt I’m back where I used to be.

The same afternoon of the refresher, I was called into a meeting with a few others from a different department. I knew something is up.

Management has decided to move me to a different department so now I’m going to do a different account that is totally different from what I’ve been doing for the last couple years.

Change is here.

It’s been a week now and things are still all new to me. It would’ve been nice to go back to what I’m used to do but I realized change is good. You just have to take it in, embrace it and give it a shot. It’s not that bad.

Change offers new learning, growth, excitement and it piques your brain after being static for being too familiar with something. I like where I am now. I do miss all the people I used to work with that are now gone and I’m still getting to know my new team. I can’t help but compare but in truth, it is what it is.

Change is here and it’s either we adapt to it or be stubborn and stuck. I choose to move forward.

photo credit:

http://www.funkyfaithgirl.com

 

How to achieve your goals and wants

We want all sorts of things in life – successful career, happy family, fit body to name a few. We also have so much goals – friendship goals, relationship goals, health goals and so much more. There are lots of information online that we can access that will provide us with specific tips on very specific goals and wants that we want to pursue but realistically there are only 2.

How do you achieve your life’s goals and wants? I’d like to share that on today’s two things Tuesday.

1> Want it

When I was pregnant with my boy, one time I bought a huge bag of hash browns because I saw it on TV and I told myself I want that. The next day, I ended up giving it away coz I don’t want it anymore.

Even after pregnancy, I have a tendency to want something today and realized I don’t really have any desire for it.

One of the many reasons for not achieving your life’s goals and wants is – not wanting something hard enough. We are easily thrown by little struggles and issues along the way. It is vital that we are certain and determined when we want to achieve something.

I wanted to be a CPA and so even if I failed some subjects and got kicked out of school, had to start over, had to stomach staring eyes, had to live with guilt for failing my parents, had to take the licensure exam twice. I made it! Because I want it.

In fact I want it so much, I took another CPA license when I moved in Canada. Now I am proud to be a CPA not once but twice.

2>Do it

Wanting to learn how to bike but not practicing at all is tantamount to nothing. Achieving your goals does not end in wanting it. The hard part towards that goal is actually working on it.

It may be difficult to know where to start of how to begin the journey but if you are determined, nothing is going to stop you; not distance, time, age or money. You just have to take the first step and then everything else will follow.

I wanted a better life for me, my family and my own family-to-be and I’ve decided that I need to move to a different country to achieve that. It is a hard decision as it requires leaving my loved ones, my friends, going out of my comfort zone and starting over from scratch.

I stalled the application for some time because I thought I needed more time to be emotionally prepared. Also, there’s always something great that’s happening to me that makes me think it might not be the best decision.

Until one day, I’ve decided to just jump on the wagon and do it! That was about 4 years ago and soon I will be eligible for citizenship. Goal achieved!

 

It will take courage, emotional preparedness and will to achieve anything. With the combination of wanting it then doing it plus all the help you can get from friends, family and online – failure will soon be a thing of the past.

 

photo credit:

https://runthisapple.com/

http://www.study-habits.com

The resort

When faced with the unfamiliar

And the need to appear conversant

You resort to the colloquial

Vagueness becomes aspirant

 

When cornered in a web of lies

The need to say in control arise

The desire to manipulate and stay charge

Vagueness is the hero on the rise

 

When the truth is nothing but obvious

A question has only one answer

But for reasons unknown and personal

Vagueness keeps the lie in power

Update Required!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you it’s been a busy week altogether and I bet you had a busy one too.

**

I recently got back to work and I’ve been dealing with coping up to so many changes. I was away for about a year and it was naive and a bit stupid for me to think that I’d be going back to the same things.

For the most part, yes, I still hold the same position and I’m still part of the same department. I still sit on the same boring, neatly arranged table and my old files for storage still sit under my desk.

A week after coming back, management decided to move me to a new team and gave me a new account that is totally different than what I’ve been doing which happened right after the refresher meeting I had with my old senior. Hah!

**

I got married in 2015 but a part of me didn’t want to let go of my family name. For one, I don’t particularly like my husband’s last name. I felt it didn’t fit me yet. That has nothing to do with love at all, purely aesthetic.

Now, I’ve decided to change my name to take my husband’s last name. Whew! This is it! It’s funny though because when I went to have my driver’s license updated, the agent asked me to sign electronically to complete my application and it hit me! I haven’t really thought about that yet.

Overall, I’ve got the important ones done but I still got a long list – banks, phone company, membership organizations, insurances, etc.

-> Change is the only thing constant in the world and we need to take it, embrace it and live with it. I remind myself that I need to look at the good sides of change for growth to be more effective and fruitful. We love the old but it’s time for the new!

First time mom

This is a piece of me..

I received the greatest gift so far. My son.

**

I did not want to have kids as I was growing up. I wanted to have kids of my own but the thought of carrying them in my womb for 9 long months and having to physically bring them out into the world scares me the most.

When I said scared, I am not talking about the dangers and complexities of being pregnant. And you would think I am selfish and vain but I was more concerned about how to get rid of the belly that might not go away. Ever. At all.

During my third trimester is when my tummy started to grow significantly big and after gaining 15 kg, at that point, I told myself, I’m never going to get back on all my old clothes. And so I packed all of them and placed them in a box for donation as tears started to roll from my eyes.

Was that me being pregnant and hormonal? Or was that me being my vain, selfish self? I wouldn’t know for sure.

I am a planner. It pains me not to know what’s going to happen in the next 24 hours more so how it’s going to unfold. So I tried every possible way to mitigate this concern and booked pre-natal classes and hospital tours, watched videos and read anything baby related I can search Google for.

With all these so called preparations, I realized lots of people tell you a lot of things that you can expect about pregnancy and child birth but there’s also a fair amount of information they neglect to tell you. Ergo, there’s only so much you can do to prepare and things will happen as they should and you should not worry too much; easier said than done for sure.

I was in pain for a good couple months and though I loved my son the moment I had some spotting during my first trimester and realized I could lose him, I was frustrated with how sleep deprived I was and how so little time I have left for myself.

I love my son and I would go through everything over again for him. To all mom to be/s or new moms who is overwhelmed by all the changes in their lives, it is important to stand back, look at your precious little ones and appreciate their beauty.

More importantly, know that things will get back to normal soon enough. It may not be exactly how it used to be – your body, your lifestyle and sleep times but it will have some normalcy at some point.

The journey into becoming a mother is a lifetime trek – unpredictable, swift, rewarding and can be frustrating. It is a role that will last until your last day on earth. It does not begin when you give birth and it does not end when your child turns 18; not even 40.

You will be a mom for the remaining of your lifetime but your little ones will not be babies for the remaining of your lifetime. So enjoy them while they are tiny and fragile because they will not be that small again.